Monday, November 7, 2011

I was supposed to have a baby this week

I know so many of you have seen this day come and go too.

Instead, I’m feeling the first sweet movements of another baby inside of me.

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to bring another child into our home this spring, but I can’t help but reflect right now and wonder what it would be like to have a baby this week. What would Nathan be like as a big brother at 2 1/2, not 3? Amazingly, I had forgotten a lot of the pain and trauma I went through just seven short months ago, but it’s all rushing back to me now. I never want to go through something like that again. I was so unprepared for what I experienced. How can anyone be prepared?

This pregnancy has been so opposite from my last. So much less stress, even though I have been sicker. When I was pregnant before, I bled for nearly 5 weeks before finally losing my baby at about 10 weeks. I think I’m finally coming to terms with the fact that the baby I’m carrying now isn’t going anywhere.

And I’m getting excited! So, enough focusing on the past. Here’s a few fun facts about this pregnancy so far:

Due Date: April 30- I figure I’m looking at the beginning of May and I’m just hoping not to give birth on our anniversary (the 4th). You can’t really skip your kids birthday to go on a date.

Cravings: My most frequent and consistent craving has been salad. Especially apple, cheddar, walnut salad, and right now, my version of Olive Garden’s salad. I ‘m also always craving tart things like apple and oranges, and right now lemonade. And always chocolate.

Morning sickness: I started feeling queasy around 4-5 weeks and suddenly started feeling great again at 12 weeks, with a few bad days to follow. I can finally get through the day without a nap, although I know everyone is happier when I take one.

Boy or girl: we should find out in the next month or so. With Nathan, I knew he was a boy right away but with this baby, I have absolutely no clue. It will be a fun surprise to find out.

12 weeks

Here I am at 12 weeks. I definitely feel bigger this time, and I think this baby is going to be higher than Nathan was. I’m 15 weeks now.

I found a lady nearby that has a birth center in her home, right on a lake and I love her. I got to see her a week or so ago and have my first ultrasound. Nathan and my mom came with me.


Not a great picture, but you get the idea- there’s a baby in there, I haven’t just been eating too much leftover Halloween candy!


Fox and Amy said...

Yay Heather! I can't wait to see what you're having, too. With Cosette, I craved salad. With Cash (and this boy) salad has been repulsive. That is so awesome you found a good birth center, too! I'm glad to see that you have found some healing from the past, too. Hope this week is a good one for you!

Larissa said...

What a hard day...but so glad that you are carrying a new life too! Can't wait to hear what it will be. What are you hoping for? You win either way! You have such a cute belly too! xoxo

AlixSteele said...

I'm so jealous that you're craving salad when pregnant. I wish that had happened to me. But now that I'm not pregnant, an apple, cheddar, and walnut salad sounds amazing! What kind of dressing do you put on it? I hope this isn't too hard of a week for you and I'm glad you know that this baby isn't going anywhere. I don't think I ever got there with Ben and it made things harder. Enjoy this time!